What if she isn't happy? What if we can't make rent? What if we made these three choices and then this fourth thing happened — would we all be perfectly happy, then? This is the game that my brain wants to play. It's not playful though, actually, it's arduous. It's torture. I torture myself with … Continue reading The trap of “What if?”
The next right thing for my family
As the writer Glennon Doyle Melton says, when in doubt, choose the next right thing. But how does that work when you're in a family? What if the next right thing for me isn't the same as the next right thing for Ali, isn't the same as the next right thing for Jordan? How do … Continue reading The next right thing for my family
Uggghhh
It's an ugh day— steamy here in NYC, air so thick you could cut it (or slather it all over you like swampy lotion). I have a blister on my foot that's screaming and I had to run an errand and then the person didn't show up and traffic on that block was awful and … Continue reading Uggghhh
The time that song from Moana made me cry
As I've mentioned before, I'm very moved by the Here and Now program I've been doing with the Academy of Intuition. It's powerful stuff, and it's getting me to go deep into my self in ways I have avoided, both willfully and unknowingly, for many, many years. This week's theme is role playing (no, not … Continue reading The time that song from Moana made me cry
Rest in peace, rat
This morning I was walking Clover, when out of the corner of my eye, I saw a dead rat lying in the street, right next to the curb. Stay with me here, because I know rats aren't generally people's favorite subject. But something about this rat was so compelling. It looked so extraordinarily peaceful, its … Continue reading Rest in peace, rat
18 things I’ve learned in 18 years of marriage
Today is my 18th wedding anniversary. In honor of our union / in a coincidental bit of publishing schedule good fortune, today is also the day that McSweeney's published a list Jordan and I wrote, called Thoughts on Marriage From a Couple Who Have Been Married for 18 Years. I hope you enjoy it. (For … Continue reading 18 things I’ve learned in 18 years of marriage
Just another mo(u)rning in America
Good morning! Time to cozy up to social media with a mug of tea, and — what's this? Oh my god. He WON?? What country am I living in? Apparently one where we now just openly celebrate and reward violence. It's like living in Lord of the Flies. Of course, I realize, this is a … Continue reading Just another mo(u)rning in America
Don’t beat yourself up
When we experience pain, we make it worse with the stories we tell ourselves about that pain. Those stories are the source of suffering. This is my biggest takeaway so far from the wonderful Here and Now program I'm doing through the Academy of Intuition. (Which I highly recommend.) Pain is inevitable. It's part of … Continue reading Don’t beat yourself up
The pleasure of escapist porn
You guys, I am so into porn. No, not the sad cum-on–your-face variety. I'm talking AIRBNB LISTINGS. I'm talking Instagram accounts that show me LIFE IN THE HUDSON VALLEY. (Red Cottage Rentals I'm looking at you.) I am so into this shit. In some ways, the pleasure of selecting a cabin to rent in Phoenicia, NY … Continue reading The pleasure of escapist porn
Get some rest
I recently met up with a friend who is burned out from a demanding job, and worried that she's bringing the stress home to her family. "How long have you been feeling this way?," I asked. "Probably since January," she said. Oh, the month the asshat was inaugurated president? "I'm not sure that timing is … Continue reading Get some rest
