This post is part of Reverb10, a project that provides daily prompts in the month of December to help you reflect on the past year and set your intentions for the year ahead.
Today’s prompt:
What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (from Sam Davidson)
This flower symbolizes the de-cluttering of my life in 2011My 2011 List – Things I No Longer Need:
1. Elephant sausage. I gotta stop eating this stuff. The stress of living with the picketers in the front lawn is becoming unbearable.
2. Daily blow-outs at the salon. I MUST learn to straighten my own hair. This is on my list every year, but this year, I mean it.
3. The flask I keep in my desk. Sure, it’s reassuring to have it there, and who am I kidding – it’s kept me from losing my shit at work a number of times. Actually, now that I think about it – the desk flask stays.
4. Men. Am I right?! Girl power, baby!
5. My handgun collection. They are just taking up space — declutter your space, declutter your life, right?? I’ll donate them to the local shelter. It feels so good to give!
6. Elephant bacon. The stuff is really fattening.
7. Facebook. Such a time waster!
8. Newspaper subscription. I can get the same info online, and honestly, news is bad for my mental health. That’s what my yoga teacher says, anyway.
9. Casual sex. Shrink says it’s bad for my marriage. Husband agrees.
10. Making lists for my blog. I know they’re popular, but they make me feel so cheap.
11. Elephant burgers. They make my pet elephant cry.
How about you? What will you give up in 2011? Spill.
Man you guys are really making me laugh this afternoon and trust me, I need it right now. Brilliant.
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Brilliant list! I love it!
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Thanks ladies! It was fun to go the humor route for a change. I perform comedy, but rarely bring my sense of humor into my writing. It was fun!
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OK listen, nobody *needs* men but lets be honest here, we come in handy from time to time (See #9).
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Can you hear me laughing over here in RI? Thanks for hilarity. Looking forward to more humor in your writing in days ahead. So good.
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hahahahahaHAha
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As for #3, you'll be surprised what our mother's curlers can help too
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what a wonderful post! good to start the day with a laugh 😉
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Personally, I need to fire my elephant maid. She is really inefficient. And I've noticed my peanuts have gone missing. : )Thanks for the laugh! I truly appreciate it!
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Thank you all so much! I had so much fun writing this… will have to continue playing with humor. And Lauren, elephant maids are notorious thieves 😉
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Brilliant! *tee hee*
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Dangit you beat me to the clever post. I'll go ahead and post mine anyway but yours is full of win. 😉
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