“You can’t want that, it’s too expensive.”
“That’s unrealistic – stop wanting it.”
Well, what good does that do?? Sublimating my desires doesn’t rid me of them. No matter how high-minded my counsel to myself – I cannot stop myself from wanting what I want.
I want to not live in this apartment anymore. I want to live in a cozy apartment in a brownstone*, not this modern cookie cutter box. I want a view that charms me. I want to redecorate the bedroom and get a duvet cover that doesn’t attract and display dog hair like some sort of prize. I want a couch that isn’t a piece of shit from Jennifer Convertibles. I want a dining table made from reclaimed wood like the one we had in DC before we sold so many of our beautiful things to move to New York.
I want to find a way to write this blog for a living.
There. That’s what I want.
Is it so outrageous?
What do you want? As the Spice Girls might say… what do you really really want? (Sorry, I couldn’t resist.)
(*Truth be told, what I really really want is an artist’s cottage — a bungalow by the sea, or somewhere beautiful in nature. But for as long as we’re in New York… a cozy brownstone apartment will do nicely, thank you very much.)