Things I Will Not Be Naming My Baby Daughter

1. Blue Ivy*
2. Apple**
3. Mitt Romney
4. Kunta Kinte

5. Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop
6. She-Ra
7. Siri
8. Suri
9. Slurry
10. Boobs McGillicutty***

Stay tuned for the next installment: Things I Might Be Naming My Baby Daughter (just kidding, mom).

*See also: Red Ivy, Orange Ivy, Yellow Ivy, Green Ivy, Indigo Ivy
**See also: Orange, Banana, Grape, Macintosh, IBM
***See also: Tits, Bajongas, Sweater Cows — although “Sweater Cow Hirsch” does have a nice ring to it…



3 thoughts on “Things I Will Not Be Naming My Baby Daughter

  1. I remember when I was pregnant I hated, I mean HATED, all the "new, individual" names people came up with for their children. At one point I was reading the editors section of a pregnancy mag, where the woman talked about her children: Bruklyn (boy) and Deevan (girl). I said to my husband, "Am I going to far by wanting to reach in to this magazine, grab the woman by the throat and strangler her?"Major pregnancy hormones raging, but really? I am just going to say it, those names are dumb! I still think they are dumb, though I don't want to strangle the editor anymore. Great list!


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