The 7 Reasons I Want To Write for ClickHole Will Make You Want to Hug a Kitten

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The Onion is launching a new website called ClickHole in June that makes fun of everything I hate about the internet right now. I have no idea how one applies to write for the site so I’m writing this blog post in the hopes that they read it and allow me to channel my rage into hilarity on their behalf.

1. Headlines That Tell Me I Will Be Amazed Make Me Stabby

2. The Best Minds of a Generation Are Making Lists 

3. What You Need to Know About the Death of Nuance 

4. Fuck Kittens

5. Click Here Click Here Click Here Click Here

6. Which Kurt Cobain Lyric Are You?

7. This Woman Used to Love Producing Web Content Until Everyone Started Writing Like This. Then She Channeled Her Rage Into Writing Satirical Headlines. What Happens Next Will Take Your Breath Away And Then You Will Be Rushed To The Hospital So Click Here For The Top 73 ER Moments That Will Make You Stand Up And Applaud.

Hirsch out.

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