Pro Tip: Never Move.

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Pro tip: never move.

Never do this.

Never do this.

Just don’t do it. Shelter in place. Whatever dwelling you currently rent, own, or rent-to-own, stay there. Never give in to a bout of madness and decide that it is somehow logical to put all your belongings into boxes, let alone pay someone to uproot your existence by putting your belongings into boxes for you.

If you have a toddler or a geriatric dog, by no means even contemplate moving. And if you have both – for god’s sake, you probably shouldn’t even be reading this blog post.

Do not rock the boat.

I know you think it’s a good idea to move closer to your family. “It takes a village,” you say. Village, schmillage, I say. STAY PUT. By the time you’re done moving closer to your “people,” the stress of the move will have killed you, and what good is your community to you, then? Oh, well. I suppose they can raise the child. And the dog.

If you do have to move – and only if you really, truly MUST move, then here are my recommended coping strategies:

1.     Drink wine.
2.     See above.

Thank you. This has been a public service announcement. You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

Having a ball having it all,
Amanda

P.S. For those of you who don’t know and have not, by this point, guessed, I am in the middle of relocating from Brooklyn, NY to my hometown of Washington, DC.
P.P.S. Don’t move.

Photo credit: Matthew W. Jackson

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