With every choice we make, we write the script of our lives.
Every time we mindfully refuse to internalize a voice that says, “You can’t” — that’s a choice.
Every time we follow through on a commitment to ourselves even though we’d rather binge watch our latest favorite show on Netflix — that’s a choice.
Every time we forgive ourselves for all the ways we falter — that’s a choice.
Together, choice by choice, we can create the world of our dreams — the world we want for our daughters.
Writing the script of our lives means being aware of and rejecting conditioning from various sources.
We reject the conditioning we got in school.
We choose to let go of seeking proverbial A’s and gold stars (really, fuck those gold stars). Instead, we learn to tune into ourselves, to listen to what we really want, and to take action in pursuit of those desires. (Sometimes, it’s the other way around: We bravely take action, uncertain of what we want, and use the momentum of action to discover ourselves.) This kind of mindful agency is especially important in today’s “gig economy,” where knowing how to create opportunities for ourselves, rather than passively relying on an employer to take care of us, is increasingly key.
We reject the conditioning we got from our parents/families — and the harmful narratives anyone else in our lives tries to limit us with (shitty exes and friends afraid to let us change come to mind) .
We choose to let go of whatever limiting stories they told us about what is or is not possible/responsible/smart/good and who we are or are not. We tune into our own desires and form our own code of conduct. We develop the courage to act accordingly, living out our own stories, not the ones they pitched in the proverbial writer’s meeting.
We reject the conditioning we got from media and culture at large.
We choose to let go of using commercial media as our compass to womanhood. Gone are the days when you tell us what it means to be a woman — what our bodies should look like, what we should prioritize or care about; now, we tell you. We are media savvy and aware that the airbrushed, commercially driven reality you portray (more often than not, with men at the helm) is a fiction. We create space outside of the noise of mainstream culture and we seek alternative sources of information to make up our own minds about how we want to live and be.
We are warriors, and, like all warriors, we get weary.
We are not perfect.
(THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT).
We try to prioritize self-care, to be generous and effective advocates and activists, and to remember everybody’s birthday, but by god, we don’t always get it right.
This is important:
We don’t always get it right.
We are half the population, and we are tired of having our identities reduced to discussions of “having it all”: baby on hip, briefcase in hand, with taut abs and a winning smile.
“It all” is relative, and anything we have in this world shifts, anyway.
Forget “having it all.”
We are creating our own alternative.
We are having it alt.
And we aren’t doing it alone.
We are a community of conscious choice-makers.
Together, with every step we take, we write a new script, one authored not by outside forces but by our own hearts, our own wills.
This is how we change the story of what’s possible, what’s normal, what’s allowed.