They say you can't go home again. Reflections on moving back.
I met Betsy when she was eight months pregnant and teaching an improv class I was taking at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in NYC...
So, the Hirschling's nursery is almost ready... it's a mix of old and new, with keepsakes from Jordan's and my childhoods along with new items we've lovingly selected...
I'm 6 months pregnant. Last week my feet and ankles swelled so much that my shoes didn't fit. I think it was because I'd been on my feet more than usual for our move.
...Oh yeah: we moved. To Fort Greene, Brooklyn. I'm loving the neighborhood, but the apartment... it's hard. It's an old building, and a weird set-up, but parts of it are so charming, and we have a cute little nursery, and great light, and trees out the windows, and a deck... parts of the apartment are undeniably run down, though, and I'm struggling to figure out how to make them nicer without breaking the bank.
Pinterest helps. So does patience. I know I can't make it beautiful and "mine" overnight. But having a beautiful, comfortable home is more important to me than almost anything.
I realized lately that I spend a lot of time trying to convince myself that I don't want what I actually want.
"You can't want that, it's too expensive."
"That's unrealistic - stop wanting it."
Well, what good does that do?? Sublimating my desires doesn't rid me of them. No matter how high-minded my counsel to myself - I cannot stop myself from wanting what I want.